PeaS

tired and exhausted. i noe i have to be mentally strong but am i? i'll jus go on this dark tunnel whose light can not yet be seen. jus hope that i dun walk in the wrong direction.

~~~~~~lost in a sea of LOSS~~~~~~~~~

Saturday, March 27, 2004

great grandma not doing too well in hospital in malacca. going there tonight. i think. there seems to be some miscommunication somewhere.
haiz. woke up feeling rather tired today. is i thinking too much.

eat, and thou shall be eating.
miss, and thou shall be missing.
live, and thou shall be living.
befriend, and thou shall be with friends.

~~~~~~lost in a sea of LO--~~~~~~~~~

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

last weekend i played hockey. and lost. it was quite a refreshing feeling actually. and i found out(realised) that someone up there in the higher ranks of barkerites has a lot of faith in my ability. come to think of it, a lot of pple believe in me more than i believe in myself. haha.

~~~~~~lost in a sea of L---~~~~~~~~~

Wednesday, March 17, 2004

i wish i could find a team that's not driven by success but by fulfilment. "losing does not matter as long as you had fun doing it" that kind of attitude. i wonder if such a team exists or will ever exist. i know that if i were to start one, it would be as above. perhaps its because i'm not ambitious(enough). but i prefer to look at it as being the surprising underdog.

for now, though, i'll continue to force myself to work my socks of during matches in doing my part to ensure that the team keeps winning. "they are a more difficult bunch than the previous team but i'm sure we can take them on.... play hard, give your best, don't worry we have plenty of substitutes...... and win"

if only it was:
it'll be a tough match. let's try some tricks/moves which we haven't tried before. any suggestions? did i hear somebody talk about a 7-pass move? hmmm.. interesting, let's try it!

maybe they won't want me to play for them if they were to read this.
-blurrieee

Monday, March 15, 2004

ya i played the match yesterday. i'd not make it for the 3 sunday afternoon matches so i jus went yesterday morning to try to have fun again. yup i did have quite a bit of fun. we came back from going down twice to beat them 3-2. didnt get as much pitch time as i usually do. i guess its a result of my poor form n fitness right now.

those 2hrs at the hockey pitch was a temporary relief from the harsh life. i'm so tired now. quite disinterested in most things rite now. at times i just wish i could sleep and dream all day

Tuesday, March 09, 2004

a big THANK YOU to all those who helped me in my struggle last yr in one way or another. my family, my friends, my teachers. u noe who u are. thank God u're all in my life.

Monday, March 08, 2004

results were better than expected. a lot better! (especially gp) and so thoughts of failure were replaced by those of thankfullness to God as those grades put long lost smiles on the faces of some people. not sure if i'll get into my first choice course but considering the events before and during the exam, the result itself is great. now's time to choose uni courses. my first choice is set(maths at nus) but i noe i have to really think about my other choices cos my grades aren't that great. got about 3wks to do that.

aniwae, had a match yesterday. won 6-2. we could have scored a few more but didnt so the final score is 6-2. their 2 goals were pretty good especially the second one. it was a purposeful deflection by their forward who looked to be the only menacing player on their side. our marking could be blamed for the goal but hats off to a nice goal. we too scored a nice one! our last goal. the defence splitting pass by navin well converted by prabu(who scored a hat-trick in the match and 5 in two matches). the through ball was just (whoa!!). oh, congratz too to jasbir for being at the right place at the right time to score our 5th goal.

tired now. thighs, hamstrings and calves are aching. did much running back in the 1st half which paid off cos i dont remember their left wing receiving the ball. but all in all, my performance mirrored that of my sec2 days when i ran a lot but my passes were wayward. i didnt really enjoy myself as much as i would have liked. 2 matches down, the joy of playing hockey seems to be shrinking. not sure if i wanna play the next match this sunday(but i havent made up my mind). good thing we've got many players registered. think there'd still be 16 on matchday excluding me (we had a few extra yesterday anyway).
curiously, my desire to play hockey feels like its changed to being a desire to be accepted into nus to do maths.

Thursday, March 04, 2004

A level results to be released tomorrow at 1430. it has been a tough few days for me. let's see whether the results will worsen or improve the situation. 6BEE

Monday, March 01, 2004

PeaS to all of you out there who hate/dislike/despise/etc me for whatever reason there is to hate/dislike/despise/etc me. PeaS

stressed out. i need something to keep me busy to stop me from thinking bout bad, negative, sad stuffs. the pressure is on. if i could just say it, i would. but its a tactical battle where timing is of the essence. i think i need to slow down. i think i'm going too fast. if i continue going this fast, i'll crash. its inevitable. dreams are my only escape. it'll have to do, for now, for a while. for a long while.