Friday, February 27, 2004
Lonliness dominates you. You can hide it well, but
its there, and your friends can see it. You
constantly feel alone, and need to do things to
fill your time. Your afraid to tell people
this, but sooner or later it gets out in a bad
way, and you think you screwed up everything.
And when you are in love is when you are sad
the most. (Please Vote)
What Emotion Dominates you?
brought to you by Quizilla
question: are there any bad effects of eating milo powder?
i'm about to finish 400g of it. bought e small tin on me way home. hope my parents dun find out. =)
i'm about to finish 400g of it. bought e small tin on me way home. hope my parents dun find out. =)
O level results today, As nx wk. nuttin much going on in my life right now other than waiting. wait for A level results. wait for confirmation of pes status. wait for ns enlistment letter. wait for nx hockey match. wait for nx tuition session. wait for the nx time i can meet her. wait for the hour to pass. wait for the day to pass. wait for the week to pass. wait for the month to pass. wait for the year to pass. wait for something nice to watch on tv. wait for people to come online. wait for computer to start up. wait for webpages to load.
no wonder time seems to pass by so slowly. except for the 2-3hrs on wed which zoomed by. but then time suddenly seem to slow down once again.
reading my sec school history text while waiting. would prefer working somewhere. i think.
no wonder time seems to pass by so slowly. except for the 2-3hrs on wed which zoomed by. but then time suddenly seem to slow down once again.
reading my sec school history text while waiting. would prefer working somewhere. i think.
Monday, February 23, 2004
i'm tired.
21 feb: went funorama. nuttin too interesting there. played the hockey-bowling thing n won a 'lantern'(i dont really noe wad it is). aft that, went to watch somthing's gotta give. quite ok la but went home really exhausted. not really wad i had in mind cos of the match tmrw morning.
22 feb: matchday. woke up very tired, didnt hv a good night's sleep. played the game. 1st half i was lost but we led 3-1 at halftime. 2nd half i think i woke up den played better. we won 4-1 in the end. came home even more exhausted. jus got home den had to sit for lecture. quite frustrating. wanted to sleep after that but just couldn't sleep. 3pm went lunch with parents. ate super a lot. realised that i hadnt really eaten anything yesterday n today until lunch. after lunch went woodlands buy some stuff den went uncle's house. ate steamboat dinner. yummieee. played carrom with my 8yr-old cousin n lost. what a loser. reached home abt 11.
therefore, this morning i am tired. i keep waking up in the middle of my sleep abt 4am or so. awake for abt a minute den sleep again. why???? this morning was dreaming of something nice but e dream got interrupted by e need to go toilet. couldnt sleep again after that.
21 feb: went funorama. nuttin too interesting there. played the hockey-bowling thing n won a 'lantern'(i dont really noe wad it is). aft that, went to watch somthing's gotta give. quite ok la but went home really exhausted. not really wad i had in mind cos of the match tmrw morning.
22 feb: matchday. woke up very tired, didnt hv a good night's sleep. played the game. 1st half i was lost but we led 3-1 at halftime. 2nd half i think i woke up den played better. we won 4-1 in the end. came home even more exhausted. jus got home den had to sit for lecture. quite frustrating. wanted to sleep after that but just couldn't sleep. 3pm went lunch with parents. ate super a lot. realised that i hadnt really eaten anything yesterday n today until lunch. after lunch went woodlands buy some stuff den went uncle's house. ate steamboat dinner. yummieee. played carrom with my 8yr-old cousin n lost. what a loser. reached home abt 11.
therefore, this morning i am tired. i keep waking up in the middle of my sleep abt 4am or so. awake for abt a minute den sleep again. why???? this morning was dreaming of something nice but e dream got interrupted by e need to go toilet. couldnt sleep again after that.
Friday, February 20, 2004
at the back of my mind, i expected it. struggled to sleep last night. i didnt even sleep in the evening but was running around. i was tired but frustration got the better of me for a few hours as i lay on the bed. negative images after negative images kept running thru my head. each thought had to be felt by the heart, otherwise, the frustration would increase. i just could not block those thoughts, could not clear my mind, to sleep. so now its come to the front. expecting another tough night tonite.
btw, thanks for the suggestion jas! but i dont think i'll buy it...
btw, thanks for the suggestion jas! but i dont think i'll buy it...
Wednesday, February 18, 2004
i suddenly feel numb again. i think i was rather positive the past 4,5 days. more positive than usual. but now that period is over. stuck in between. at least i'm not the totally pessimistic me. yet. have a feeling i'll move down to that stage soon. hope not. haiz. numbness, apathy too creeping inside of me.
hmm..what's a good cd to buy? i could go out and buy more linkin park cds just to add to my collection but i think not. help me out
hmm..what's a good cd to buy? i could go out and buy more linkin park cds just to add to my collection but i think not. help me out
Monday, February 16, 2004
satruday was plate finals. didnt get the plate,only silver medals. lost 1-2. lost the match in e first 20 mins really, let in the 2 goals. came back strong in the 2nd half after a halftime 'talk'. haha. quite gd display, pulled one goal back but it wasnt enough. so ends under-21 tournament 2004. next week will start division 4.
nuttin much to do today other than go for a run n play some games. maybe watch some videos. i dunno.. oh ya.. got inspired to write something after watching moulin rouge on ch5 yesterday. i hv one plot on my mind but havent given much thought to the rest of the story.
oh i forgot breakfast.
nuttin much to do today other than go for a run n play some games. maybe watch some videos. i dunno.. oh ya.. got inspired to write something after watching moulin rouge on ch5 yesterday. i hv one plot on my mind but havent given much thought to the rest of the story.
oh i forgot breakfast.
Saturday, February 14, 2004
live by the day. don't have more food in your mouth than you can chew.
live today. tomorrow awaits.
live today. tomorrow awaits.
Friday, February 13, 2004
staying unemployed instead of finding work to fill my time proved to be more than just a waste of time. subconciously, i did some soul searching and i've learnt some lessons about life. i don't think i'd have been able to realise these facts if i had filled my time with work and made myself busy. yeah it was tough but at least the lessons should be learnt.
my pals, when you embark on a journey called marriage, and later decide to have kids, do play with them regularly. as much as you can, you should play with them. i know, i'm no professional family consultant but i do know that i miss playing with my parents. somehow i can only remember very few times that i did that. i'd like to think that they in fact played with me and my brother many more times than i can remember.
its been a tough few weeks emotionally and there are still questions which i have yet to find answers for. i can only hope that i'll get the answers as quickly as possible. however, i know i can't just ask them all at the same time. the timing of the questions is just as important. every wrong step is a guide to keep me on track.
i'm sitting here wishing for some things like anyone wld. we can't get everything we want, though. there's just one question i wanna ask right now. in the words of Black Eyed Peas,
WHERE'S THE LOVE Y'ALL?
my pals, when you embark on a journey called marriage, and later decide to have kids, do play with them regularly. as much as you can, you should play with them. i know, i'm no professional family consultant but i do know that i miss playing with my parents. somehow i can only remember very few times that i did that. i'd like to think that they in fact played with me and my brother many more times than i can remember.
its been a tough few weeks emotionally and there are still questions which i have yet to find answers for. i can only hope that i'll get the answers as quickly as possible. however, i know i can't just ask them all at the same time. the timing of the questions is just as important. every wrong step is a guide to keep me on track.
i'm sitting here wishing for some things like anyone wld. we can't get everything we want, though. there's just one question i wanna ask right now. in the words of Black Eyed Peas,
WHERE'S THE LOVE Y'ALL?
Thursday, February 12, 2004
Lonliness dominates you. You can hide it well, but
its there, and your friends can see it. You
constantly feel alone, and need to do things to
fill your time. Your afraid to tell people
this, but sooner or later it gets out in a bad
way, and you think you screwed up everything.
And when you are in love is when you are sad
the most. (Please Vote)
What Emotion Dominates you?
brought to you by Quizilla
will be playing again this sat so will just rest at home today and tmrw.
i'm not even gonna think about writing that. its totally insane. the way its exploding out of proportions is just so.. haiz.. who what where when why how?
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
other stuffs other stuffs... like.... i dunno.. man, i'm just going down. down down down. a spiral downwards. sucked down by thoughts and emotions.
the end
i'm not even gonna think about writing that. its totally insane. the way its exploding out of proportions is just so.. haiz.. who what where when why how?
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
other stuffs other stuffs... like.... i dunno.. man, i'm just going down. down down down. a spiral downwards. sucked down by thoughts and emotions.
the end
Wednesday, February 11, 2004
just felt like typing.. will be leaving for gym n training in abt an hr.. ok so right now i'm quite relaxed, listening to limp bizkit. a bit sick though. not really sick as in sick but jus not completely well. no flu/fever or wadeva. just that painful feeling like i ate a few servings of pins n needles, especially when i take a deep breath. it doesnt usually last this long. it usually goes away after a few deep breaths but today the pain still after abt 2hrs. hope it goes away by the time i start running!
Monday, February 09, 2004
this computer is doing good stuffs again.
the music in the backgrd sounds so mysterious. can use it to build on sad thoughts n feelings but at the same time can also stir up some fighting spirit. isit ironic? maybe but i dont think so. it makes one so sad n feel so down that the sadness causes one to fight. after this song, one should listen to linkin park's faint! seriously!! woohoooo!!!!!!
dunno wad else to say. other than i'm just sad. just just sad.
oh ya, through to U21 plate finals. it'll be acjc vs rjc. preview of A div? go to delta stadium at 6pm this saturday ok? haha. or jus wish them all the best.
the music in the backgrd sounds so mysterious. can use it to build on sad thoughts n feelings but at the same time can also stir up some fighting spirit. isit ironic? maybe but i dont think so. it makes one so sad n feel so down that the sadness causes one to fight. after this song, one should listen to linkin park's faint! seriously!! woohoooo!!!!!!
dunno wad else to say. other than i'm just sad. just just sad.
oh ya, through to U21 plate finals. it'll be acjc vs rjc. preview of A div? go to delta stadium at 6pm this saturday ok? haha. or jus wish them all the best.
Tuesday, February 03, 2004
came back frm kampong lat nite. entered me house n remembered that i 4got to take home my shoes. their stuck there in malacca. haiz. y cant they jus find their way here? dunno how i'm gonna get them back other than wait till e nx time i go there again. havent told my parents, they will surely be pLEasED..
i'm tired. wen i'm tired, i dont think rite. wen i dont think rite, i do stupid things. wen i do stupid things, i get frustrated. wen i get frustrated, i become tired. wen i become tired, i dont think rite. wen i dont think rite, i do stupids things again. wen i do stupid things again, i get frustrated. wen i get frustrated, i get tired. wen i get tired,
i'm jus too tired. i will smile later, to make me feel less tired. in the mean time, i'll jus be content with being tired. do i lack ambition?
i'm tired. wen i'm tired, i dont think rite. wen i dont think rite, i do stupid things. wen i do stupid things, i get frustrated. wen i get frustrated, i become tired. wen i become tired, i dont think rite. wen i dont think rite, i do stupids things again. wen i do stupid things again, i get frustrated. wen i get frustrated, i get tired. wen i get tired,
i'm jus too tired. i will smile later, to make me feel less tired. in the mean time, i'll jus be content with being tired. do i lack ambition?