PeaS

"Depression is a choice. But don't take my word for it, you decide."
-anonymous
what do you think?¿?

aniwaez, i think e song tt describes most perfectly how i feel now is LP's [who else :)] figure.09. yeah it has a weird title but one heck of a meaning.

been having trouble sleeping again. wat's so interesting abt my ceiling tt i have to stare at it for 2-3hrs before i eventually fall asleep? how long do u guys take b4 u go to lala land aft u've laid in bed? maybe i'm going to bed too early but is 11pm too early?? maybe its cos i sleep in e afternoon/evening but tt's cos i'm so tired by then since i didnt hv a good nite's rest. it seems like a vicious cycle. no, it's not vicious. it's jus a cycle. therefore, i shall go cycling....

it's harder to be friends than it is to be enemies. sometimes.
i have a great tendency to hurt those i love. sometimes.
don't justify your errors through giving excuses. sometimes.
ironically, nothing is absolute. sometimes.

Sunday, October 26, 2003

well, got reunited wif a pri sch fren thru frenster. he's in nyp now. exchanged some msgs wif him.
everybody needs a best fren. i had one in pri sch. up until then, he was my closest fren. e thing is, we lost touch aft pri sch. i dun get frens over to my place, not even him. but i rem he came once to pass me my report bk. anw, we lost touch. my fren(e one rite above, not my best pal) said he mixed wif e wrong crowd in sec sch. jasbir told me tt last yr, i rem but i jus didnt wanna believe it. man, i could jus shoot myself for not keepin in touch wif him.

"Let me think, let me roll, let me ride
Let me put some funk in the trunk, triple 5
And a memory that can easy your pain
Like a melody from kurt cobain
'cause ya', never know when it's all gonna end
And ya', never know when you'll call on a friend
So you better take a step to prepare yourself
'cause the way you're livin' now, ain't good for your health"
-Limp Bizkit, Creamer(All Radio Is Dead)

Tuesday, October 21, 2003

SOH KIAN BIN!!!! I JUST SAW YOUR BLOG!!!!! IT'S FREAKING NICE!!!!! I'M SUPER DUPER DAMN JEALOUS NOW MANZ!!!!!!!

phys prac was a disaster. but
"I used to be alive
Now I feel pathetic
and now I get it
What's done is done
You just leave it alone and don't regret it"
-Limp Bizkit, Boiler

so i went to watch rundown wif a fren n her bro. wanted to cancel it but it was supposed to be my treat so i went aniwae. rundown.. was fun! gots some really funny scenes esp towards the end. was considering whether to buy dido cd but chose not to. i already finished e $300 i'd saved in a fraction of e time it took me to save it.

jus like to end of by saying tt wen it comes to me,
gf = good friend
bf = best friend
and THAT will nvr change.
thank you for reading.

Monday, October 20, 2003

"When your education x-ray
Can not see under my skin
I won't tell you a damn thing
That I could not tell my friends
Roaming through this darkness
I'm alive but I'm alone
Part of me is fighting this
But part of me is gone"

- 3 Doors Down, When I'm Gone

Thursday, October 16, 2003

hmm..i now declare tt buying 4 cds in 8 days is not a gd idea. it makes u broke(duh!) n u'll start starving. now i'm eagerly waiting for my nx allowance.

aniwaesz,had an appt this morning. my heart's fine! thank God! iz normal, not enlarged like e doc thought. only thing is i MITE hv this marfanoid thingy. it isnt confirmed yet. e main concern,doc said, was e blood vessel to e heart could burst one day. now e risk is low. it'll increase wen i'm older. so no worries now. haha!

and yest,another appt. referral frm cmpb cos they detected some blood in my urine wen i went for e medical check up at cmpb. yest's urine test was negative(yay!). so now i hv to do this 24hr urine collection thing to confirm whether i'm really bleeding in my pee. gd thing i only hv to do it for one day, 19nov. haha they gave me this 3litre container! to think tt i'll be fasting on tt day. haha! oh also got ultrasound of kidneys, check for stones. but the MAIN THING is he said even if i hv any kidney disease,its minor/early stage.

ironically, i felt a greatest sense of satisfaction wen e doc said "u hv many probs for an 18-yr-old" n was slightly disappointed wen he said "but they're all minor". tt last phrase though makes me feel tt i jus mite get pes b. how i wish i could get pes b. really really really dying to be a policeman.

Monday, October 13, 2003

haha changed me blogskin again. smtg more simplistic which i'll make complicated? huh? haha

was jus thinkin abt e last day of sch. last time singing acjc anthem aft 12yrs. YAY!!!! YIPPEEE!! WOOHOOOO!! hahaha! do i hate ac? duh?? only stayed at ac cos i wasnt brave enuff to try out new surroundings..

got my revision planned out. 8-11am,2-5pm,8-11pm study times. gonna go all out phys for 2wks frm now den 2wks of econs. so my As are quite covered. but not GP! dunno how to squeeze time in for gp. nvm. whr there's a will, there's a way! (now's 2 hrs b4 i start studyin)

i'm wondering wen i can go out to buy cd again. bought hybrid theory on sat. tt means i bought 3cds in 5 days. hmmm.. nvr spent this much b4. 'cept wen i bought hockey stick/shoes. wad's happening to me?? i've got this urge to jus spend n consume! think i've gone nutz.

oh ya..i think friendster is crashing already. or maybe iz jus me.. haha!

"I'm looking out a window
Into a world thats taken you from me
And I'm feeling so disgusted
How pathetic can I possibly be"
-Limp BIzkit, It'll be ok
(listen to e song if u havent, listen again if u hv)

Friday, October 10, 2003

hmm..e majority of ac j2 is out ther sumwhr all over singapore. wad m i doing at home?? haha but i did go out jus now(sort of) jus bought haha another bizkit cd. choc starfish n ther hotdog flav water. sounds nicer than results may very. but then again.. results may vary! i'm spending a bit too much lately. heck ah! nx on e list is.. hybrid theory! haha y m i buying later albums first? (rhetorical)

4got wad i wanted to say actually. other days then....

Wednesday, October 08, 2003

i'm sick today, fever, sore throat. stress illnesses? dunno y i'm typing here. accdg to e doc, if i rem correctly, my hemoglobin level drops wen i'm infected. tt's y wen i'm sick, i'm really really sick. but today i withstood e pain running thru my body cos smtg hurt more. anw i've been in hyper mode this past wk or so. sort of expecting myself to be burnt out in e near future. jus hoping tt it comes asap b4 As or aft As.. so i stayed in sch. free periods were fun! haha! got myself to sweat a bit so it helped.

"soon we're gonna go our separate ways. well, it's been nice knowing you. tho we're unable to take this frenship a step further, i'll always cherish those times that we shared together. hope that someday sometime in the future our paths will once again cross. Cos when paths cross... people get confused."
PS: results MAY vary.

yesterday...
bought limp bizkit's new album "results may vary". iz not as nice as i hoped it'd be. still, there're some neat tracks. n i need some time to familiarise wif e songs den can like them better. but iz still not as nice as any LP album! hahaha dun believe me go n buy it! oh n i paid abt $5-6 of e cost in coins. haha! e cashier was quite cool. face didnt change much.

Saturday, October 04, 2003

i hv to say. phys lect 2day was a complete goner! didnt understand wad was being lectured frm e moment i sat down in lt4. haiz. cant seem to concentrate on e task at hand. my mind likes to wander. losing focus. haiz. must fight this thing. i can lose all my focus aft As. well, not all la.

aft phys went a fren's plc wif a fren to help e fren wif maths. iz amazing how some pple can jus click. haha! but thru'out e time we were doin functions, my mind kept on drifting away n away n away. not functioning properly, no pun intended.

guess i'm a hopeless romantic too. like another fren of mine....

this post is meant to be my opinion abt gang vs gd frens(gf) 1&2. (tho ur shoes r a bit small 4 me feet)

i think ur first reply to gf1 was wad led to e probz. u shouldnt hv said u're lazy. dunno y u didnt tell him u're doin a timed piece in e 1st place. perhaps u could say y in ur nx post.

as for gf2,i noe as much as u do how frustrating it is wen ur teammates run off to play smtg else jus wen iz ur turn to play next. all e waiting n suddenly another team takes ur place. frust!! well, dun think there's nuttin much u could do abt tt other than perhaps jus go run a few rounds on e track to satisfy ur adrenalin rush.

u noe, u're sumone who only gets irritated at really really irritating things but wen u get irritated, u're really really irritated. (pardon e shallow vocab) tt's wad i think.

and that, my fren, is wat I think.