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Saturday, August 30, 2003
extremely dumb la
real dumb
dumb
Thursday, August 28, 2003
i think e prelims this yr is a lot easier than previous yrs.. seems like it anw.. and so tmrw is maths. e only subject i can possibly get an A. but i'm not confident of getting it. i noe sitting here typing wont help but i'm jus too tired 2 do work even maths. didnt hv a gd nite slp yest or yest's yest or yest's yest's yest. feel like a zombie. and a super unfit one too!
has any1 ever tried listening and analyzing those random thoughts (dunno y but e word random doesnt seem rite) tt go thru ur mind? if there r random thoughts going thru ur mind. let's see, e nx paragraph will contain me random thoughts as i sit here: what so i do to ignore.. lala land.. pick me up.. keel mee! keel mee! hek!..build up tt phenomenon.. operation kilogram newton circus.. sleep sleep sleep sleep.. take you out of e game.. forfeit the game b4 sumbody else takes u outta e frame.. haha u're out of it.. move the body and the soul and the mind will create a wonderfully romantic uplifting of sorts to be held by the most intrinsic communicator.. hmm.. they're more like random phrases. they hv smtg in common! they all dun make sense. but quite interesting. wonder what ur random thoughts r like rite now. care 2 share? =) Tuesday, August 26, 2003
this is a nice song
Adema - Trust Let me breathe Let me breathe I can't even think right now Something's got me feeling guilty Hurt you slowly but so surely I don't know why, love you so much I can't feel because I'm lost Not too much mad as no more Is it you, is it me, is it us or is it trust? Or is it trust? Pushing into what I want Because I am so goddamn selfish Left you hanging, stopped relating I don't know why, love you so much I can't feel because I'm lost Not too much mad as no more Is it you, is it me, is it us or is it trust? I'm so alone, empty and lost, it's easier to let you go Time will erode the shame and the fault, it's easier to let you go (Is it you, is it me) It's easier to let you go (Let me breathe) Let me breathe I can't feel because I'm lost Not too much mad as no more Is it you, is it me, is it us or is it trust? Or is it trust? [Repeat] I'm so alone, empty and lost, it's easier to let you go Time will erode the shame and the fault, it's easier to let you go
haha "sumone" do i noe u? or do i noe u not?
sheesh! i'm typing wif my left thumb mysteriously trembling.. i seriously dunno wad's wrong wif me.. but i dun quite give a "bus no. 74" anymore.. a BIG THANK YOU to all my frenz who helped me thru all those not so great times i had esp 4 e past 3yrs.. each one of u made a tremendous difference in my life n i'm glad to hv u as my frenz! =) cant wait till fri wen prelims will practically be over.. tho there's phys paper5 nx wed but who cares abt tt? but in da mean time, iz back 2 e books.. Thursday, August 21, 2003
examz were quite bad. phys experiment on tues kept e song swing swing by all american rejects in my head thru'out e 2hr tragedy. haha. was kinda very scared to swing. drew my table n all first, measured e string n sat there for a gd 5 mins starin at my paper lookin as if i was readin e qn. jus couldnt get myself to stand up n swing e stopper wen every1 ard me were sittin down. too scared. but in e end, sumhow, i managed to do it. all least tt's over. but wait, there's more! went home tt day, n sumhow again, i got a nice flu. n i so badly needed to study for econs essay on wed. so tues was no study. which meant wed was haiz. woke up to a superbly sore throat. maths was ok la but i doubt can get A. econs essay? at e end of it all i think i wrote out of pt.
so this means i gotta study for phys. pass my phys. havent pass phys exam in jc. sumhow, i gotta do it. gonna study once i'm done here. =( kinda funny la. i rarely get flu. wad a time to get it. "hey man! flu's THE trend rite now n itz for sale. want some?" haha. oh well, one drug aft e other. tt reminds me, i havent taken my medicine today. shall stop complaining abt my drugs. at least they're helping. i think. so far this yr i've discovered 2 illnesses tt i hv. there's a pretty gd chance of both of 'em gettin worse in e future. n all this while i've been looking forward 2 my future. a future which now seems bleak. but i'll keep e faith. n i urge all of u to as well! there's gotta be a reason 4 everything tt happens. all e tragedies, restrictions, etc. bad things n gd. isn't it a wonder tt life's happiness n sadness can sumtimes be like e world's exchange rate. an appreciation of a currency means another country's currency has depreciated n vice versa. one man's happiness is another man's despair. haha e wonder's of life..... Sunday, August 17, 2003
haha nisa, i dunch think i'll run 2 mad rds jus b4 entering e exam hall. i may be mad at times but not THaT mad. hahaha tks 4 e suggestion!
btw jan, i definitely wont be pes a or b. most prob pes c. cant be bothered abt it rite now tho. tks! prelims tmrw n i'm still strugglin to focus. anw watched man u vs bolton yest. man, man u sucked for e 1st hr. this coming frm an MU fan. but once ronaldo took to e field, it was a whole diff story! haha. was kinda worried abt all e hype surrounding him. scared he mite not settle in so quickly. jus being e pessimist tt i m. but he proved tt he's ready. haha. it really seemed lyk man u had 2 giggs on e field. one old one young. haha. den arse got campbell sent off. hahaahahahaha but iz only e 1st game of e season. chelski, livers n sandcastles still havent play. =) watchg e game, my competitive spirit was called back in2 action. i soooooo wanna play in some competition. okok i wanna play hockey. hah too bad. i retireded. haha waiting for KFC to come. according to jun yan, KFC = kena fixed costs. so i guess i kena fixed costs?! haha PeaS Thursday, August 14, 2003
a big thank u 2 e pple who left me a note.. haha..
how abt this 4 a diagnosis: u hv a big heart. haha tt's wad i hv.. literally! iz due to a condition called Marfan syndrome.. so ma fan! haha.. iz wad makes me on e tall side.. but e doc told me tt there isnt any short term worries for me.. he even told me in e mean time to enjoy my life while i wait 2 get a more complete diagnosis.. had my chest scanned 2day by ultrasound.. haha e kinda thing pregnant women wud hv but mine's on e chest.. jus to see how big my heart really is.. she scanned for abt 40mins.. sooo boring i almost fell asleep until she told me to change position agt abt 15mins.. haha.. thank e govt? cos w/o subsidy frm dem i'd hv to pay $240 for e scan.. wif subsidy i paid only $25.. phew! seriously la.. e painkillers r makin me drowsy.. tt's wad they're supposed to do rite? haha but nx wk got prelims.. if i eat painkillers in e morning how to do exam? if i dun eat den halfway thru i mite jus feel smtg piercing my body.. how? heck la.. anw me new painkillers r more effective than me old ones.. but more drowsy too.. haha.. oh well.. i guess tt's wad they call life.. All e best to all j2s for e prelims! Saturday, August 09, 2003
haha.. i went for my ns medical check up like dunno how long ago.. till now i i havent even gotten a pes status.. pple who went for e checkup later than me already gots e sort of posting thingy.. haha.. guess i hv to wait.. next check up for ns is e referral to nuh which was supposed to be on 30 aug but had to postpone it cos had malay day thingy tt day.. so e check up is on 15 oct.. haha so far away..
my medical expenses hv jus sky-rocketed this yr.. hate 2 admit it but iz affecting me psychologically.. wad a time to be mentally flawed.. when prelims r jus like 9 days away.. was jus thinking.. to my classmates reading this, perhaps what mr lee said abt me taking drugs is true.. haha.. well, i am on drugs now.. but prescribed ones la.. folic acid.. painkillers.. haha.. but e latest prescription scares me.. each pill contains 450mg of paracetamol & 35mg of orphenadrine citrate(which i dunno wad iz for).. i hv to take 2 pills at a time.. which, using simple maths, means 900mg of paracetamol.. sorry if it doesnt actually add up to tt much in my body.. but i've never taken so much of paracetamol.. perhaps iz e reason for me being superly sleepy n xhausted lately.. well, tt's all i hv for now.. next blog probly on thurs.. dun ask me why =) PeaS Saturday, August 02, 2003
haha this is kinda dumb. dun i ask me y. i'm jus saying this is kinda dumb.
for all those out there in e world who're the least bit shy, my heart goes out to you if there'd been tt one time when fear held u back frm explaining urself to pple. u were, as a result, mizundastood. if only u could tell 'em. if only they could understrand. what it feels. too bad. cos some pple jus dun get it. they jus dun understand. n for their ignorance, they blame YOU. they blame u for not speaking up to clarify e situation. they blame u for keeping to urself. they blame u for being shy. in other words, they blame u for being YOU. but too bad. cos some pple jus take advantage of u. but u were never able to stand up to them. u were never able to let them noe how much u've been hurt by them. u were never able to tell them to just stop taking everything from u. maybe, once, u did. but u couldn't make it convincing enuff. or they JUST DIDNT CARE. they were too used to taking it frm u. they just couldnt stop. so they keep on taking. while u r left in e dust. blaming urself for being shy. blaming urself, for being you. still, too bad. cos u need help. they say u do. u noe u do. but they still dun get it. they still dun understand. tt u cant even reach for help. u've sunk to e very bottom of e sea. unable to swim to e surface where pple can help save u, throw u a float. u've sunk. n for all tt, they STILL dun understand. they say u're jus too proud to get help. tt's wat they think. n tt's wat u think they think. keep thinking tt way. u'll end up digging into e seabed. but for all tt, you are not alone, my fren. for i am here. i will help u get ur life back. though only God can actually heal ur invisible wounds. keep praying for e strength to face them. to face the world. to rid urself of ur disease. pple come n go. but i'll be here till u heal. for u are, ME. others may hv hurt u. but u'd also hv hurt others. think abt it. nobody in this world is perfect. so dun blame them for being ignorant. cos it's e same as them blaming u for being shy. PeaS 2 da world. love y'all.
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